


The Battle of Akihabara Square

by rocoroloco (miaomaomei)



Series: ShuAke Brainworms: Fate Edition [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fate/ Fusion, Canon-Typical Violence, Holy Grail War (Fate), M/M, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29977089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miaomaomei/pseuds/rocoroloco
Summary: "I'm sorry, but I was just wondering if we can use codenames for this mission?""Codenames?" Akechi echoes, clear mockery in his tone. "What are we, Feathermen?"Haru ignores him. "It'll be fun, right? Like how we hide our Servants' identities with their class names. It's not every day that we work together for a mission in the middle of a Holy Grail War. It's rather exciting, isn't it?""People are dying, Okumura."(In the midst of the Holy Grail War, a rogue mage causing havoc in Akihabara forces a temporary ceasefire and truce. Akira, Haru, and Akechi are unfortunately forced to work together. At this rate, stress ulcers will kill Akira first.)
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: ShuAke Brainworms: Fate Edition [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1808545
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	The Battle of Akihabara Square

**Author's Note:**

> Mention of past Akira/Makoto; mention of current Haru/Makoto

When Morgana returns from an urgent and official meeting at St. Mary's Cathedral for all mages still participating in the Holy Grail War, he is noticeably sleeker and shinier, with a little pink rose pinned to his yellow kerchief.

"Did you have a nice time with Ann?" Akira asks teasingly, setting his book down and patting his lap invitingly.

Morgana bristles and sniffs haughtily. "For your information, I did _not_ spend time with Lady Ann after the meeting. I was busy collecting information based off the intel that we received."

"Right. And that explains the fatty tuna on your whiskers."

The cat's ears prick up and he fastidiously starts to bat at his face, licking his paws and rubbing at his cheeks in a desperate attempt to clean himself. Akira watches him, hiding a smile behind his fist the entire time, until Morgana's ears flatten against his skull and he hisses.

"Nice try, Akira. I saw through your lie."

"Did you?"

"Keep this up and I won't tell you the information I gathered."

"Sorry, Mona. I got too full of myself. Please tell me what the priest said?" Akira clasps his hands together and jumps off the bed, looking up as pleadingly as he can.

He must look awfully pathetic, begging for forgiveness from his cat, but to Akira, it's a matter of life and death. Morgana is stubborn and proud, and even if it means that his master would be kicked from the Holy Grail War, he would keep his mouth shut until he thinks Akira has groveled enough.

"Fatty tuna every day for a week," Morgana demands.

"Deal," Akira replies instantly, even though his wallet weeps in his back pocket.

Morgana gives his face one last clean before he shakes himself, his face and tone serious. "There's a mage living somewhere in Akihabara who has started to summon demons of all kinds. Something about how if his girlfriend won't take him back then he'll destroy the city? The church is concerned about the preservation of secrecy —"

"Of course they are," Akira interrupts, rolling his eyes.

"—ahem. The church is worried about normal people finding out about magic and are asking that all Masters temporarily put the Holy Grail War on hold in order to subdue the rogue mage."

Akira frowns. "Doesn't the church have an entire army of executors? Why don't they deal with him? It doesn't sound like something worth suspending the War for."

Morgana shrugs. It looks like he isn't sure about the details either. Akira pulls out his phone and tabs through the contacts list. He feels Morgana leap onto his shoulder, leaning in close to see what Akira is doing.

Ann is out of the question, thanks to Akechi utterly destroying her Servant a few days earlier; unless Ryuji or Yusuke filled her in on the details, he doubts that she even knows what's going on. He starts to type up texts to Ryuji and Yusuke to see if they would be interested in dealing with Akihabara together, but his phone starts to vibrate in his hand.

 _Okumura Haru_ flashes up at him and he blinks. The last time he heard from Haru, she had declared him a rival, hooked up with his ex-girlfriend (who realized, three days into dating Akira, after extensive soul-searching, that she was a lesbian), and sent Akira a giant fruit basket in the mail with a handwritten letter profusely apologizing for any hard feelings.

Or actually, no, now that he thinks about it. The last time he heard from Haru was when she tearfully swore to avenge Ann while Ann was sobbing over Caster's demise, and Haru looked him in the eye and promised to tear Akechi apart limb from limb the next time she sees him.

It had been so frightening and terrifying that Akira must have placed a lock on the memory and tossed it away.

Morgana's loud purr jolts him back into the present.

"Pick up! It's Haru!"

"Alright, alright," Akira mutters. He steels his resolve, swipes right on the phone, and holds it to his ear. "Hello, Haru?"

"Akira-kun!" Haru's sweet voice rings in his ear, all cheery and happy as if they're perfect chums once more. "It's so nice to talk to you again! How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," Akira replies, making a concentrated effort to sound as delighted as she is. "I'm doing great, all thanks to you. Ann's fine, too, last time I heard from her."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Haru giggles. "I cannot wait until the next time we see Akechi-kun. I have quite a few things that I would like to say to him and Berserker."

The last time Akira saw Akechi, the guy was pale and shaking and two seconds away from death. Even getting yelled at by Haru would probably kill him, and he silently swears to make sure that he does all he can to keep Haru and Akechi at least two districts away from each other. As if sensing his thoughts, Morgana shoots him a disapproving look.

"Right," Akira says when he realizes that he went a second too long without talking. "Well, I guess you're calling me about the mage in Akihabara?"

"Ah, yes," Haru says. All traces of friendliness are gone from her tone. Though her voice is as sweet as usual, there's a sharp edge of steel underneath the silk. "Mako-chan has told me a little bit more about the case. The normal policemen in Tokyo have found that the girlfriend in question has gone missing. They're trying to figure out if she did so of her own free will or not. Most of the mage community thinks that he had something to do with it. He's...rampaging now out of a mix of grief and self-delusion. Or, at least, that's what the police force thinks."

Akira frowns. "Didn't he say he'll destroy the city if his girlfriend doesn't go out with him again?"

"That's correct. The only way to neutralize him is to make him come to grips with what he did, or to kill him."

It's tough and harsh, but it's a clinical decision in-character with the majority of the mages working at St. Mary's Cathedral. For all Haru seems like a bright and bubbly heiress, she's also a mage at heart — she no doubt agrees wholeheartedly with the church's decision.

"Alright. So why did you call me? Not to say that I don't want to hear from you, of course. I'd always welcome a nice chat with an old friend."

"Hehe, you flatterer. I'm calling to ask if you would want to go to Akihabara with me? I remember you said that you're familiar with the streets because Mishima-kun used to drag you there, right?"

Akira barely remembers anything beyond neon lights, tobacco smoke, and the high-pitched squeals of kyaku-biki maids. He just remembers the sweaty grip of Mishima's hand around his wrist and how Mishima exhibited physical prowess far beyond his usual self as he practically dragged Akira all around town.

"Yeah, of course," he says. "I wanted to ask Yusuke and Ryuji too."

"Oh, don't worry about those two. I already asked them."

Something about Haru's dismissive tone raises an alarm bell in Akira's head. Has Haru always been this blasé about her friends? And judging by their personalities, Ryuji at the very least would have texted him something if they were going to meet up at Akihabara. Akira doesn't think that Haru would stab him in the back or attempt to shoot Arsene in the head or anything, but he swallows drily as a hint of apprehension starts to crawl into his heart.

"Haru, what —"

"Mona-chan, are you there?" Haru calls. She must be shouting into the microphone because her voice comes through so loud that Akira winces, pulling the phone away from his face.

Morgana perks up. "Haru, I am!" he yells. Akira sets the phone down on the bed and switches it to speakerphone, and Morgana clambers down his arm. He settles in a loaf next to the phone and purrs so loud that Akira wouldn't be surprised if Haru could hear it on the other side. "Thank you for the fatty tuna!"

So, Morgana _did_ fraternize with the enemy after the meeting. Akira was just wrong about who it was. He never expected Haru to go visit St. Mary's Cathedral herself, especially considering the old and established Okumura family no doubt has thousands and thousands of familiars that she could choose from. She's always been a take-charge sort of girl but she's bordering on aggressive rather than simply assertive.

Akira stands up and lets Morgana chat with Haru. He pointedly ignores Morgana's veiled jabs at how stingy he is just because Akira didn't want to pay for premium sushi and sashimi at the supermarket, instead settling for day-old leftovers.

"Assassin," he says softly, and he feels Assassin melt into existence, his huge frame domineering the small space of Leblanc's attic. Morgana's ears twitch when the Servant's body fully materializes from sparks of magic, but he doesn't stop talking to Haru. "What do you think about this situation?"

Assassin's demonic face doesn't lend itself to a lot of facial expressions, but Akira could feel the weight of the pitying stare like it's a physical shroud.

"You should focus on the things that matter," he says. "A man jilted over his lost lover...Is that really what your main goal is?"

Akira shakes his head. Assassin didn't really answer the question but he's not too surprised at the evasiveness. Even though Akira is his Master, he likes to play coy.

"Well, it's not, but it's not like I can just break the treaty imposed on all of the Masters and try to, what, kill Haru."

"Can't you?"

"No, I can't," Akira grits out, glaring at Assassin with as much sternness as he can muster. "Unless you want me to be suspended, my Command Seals taken away, and you sent back to the Throne of Heroes."

Assassin grumbles low in his throat and furls up his wings. Without their impressive span, he looks much smaller. More like a human rather than the winged humanoid monster he's somehow manifested as. It's adorable in a strange way, and Akira resists the urge to reach out and pat his Servant on one of his red-tipped horns.

He doesn't think that would fly over very well and he's not particularly interested in having his hand chopped off by a stiletto just yet, unfortunately.

"Alright, that's a promise, Haru!" Morgana meows and after a moment of struggle, he manages to paw at the phone enough to terminate the call. He looks up at Akira and Assassin, his tail flicking. Even though he had just been purring up a storm and metaphorically rubbing himself all over Haru's legs mere seconds ago, he has a deadly serious look in his supernaturally blue eyes. "Haru will be meeting you in Akihabara. Ryuji and Yusuke are already on their way, she says. Between the lot of you, I'm sure that some random mage is no issue."

Akira nods. He reaches down and shoots off a text to Ryuji anyway.

"You're not coming with?" he asks.

Morgana is seated comfortably on the bed, and he makes no use to even try and stand up.

"Nah. I don't need to be there and I already put in a lot of work today. Say hi to Haru again for me."

"You already said hi to her twice this day," Akira points out, but Morgana lowers his head onto his paws and starts to snore exaggeratedly. He rolls his eyes and gestures towards Assassin, who merely tips his top hat and vanishes away in a cloud of stardust.

It looks like Akira will be making the trip to Akihabara all alone.

"Great," he mutters to himself. He shrugs on thin jacket over his ratty sweater, pulls some socks onto his feet, and hurries downstairs, waving off Sojiro's concern.

He doesn't fully realize that he never changed out of his pajama pants until he's tapping into Yongen-Jaya station but considering he's about to head off to battle, he supposes that it would be much better to wear something easy to move around in.

Everything will be just fine.

* * *

When Akira gets to Akihabara, he is tired and grumpy. The train was stopped right before it due to "a police incident" and Akira was forced to run the rest of the way. In the distance, he can see a distinctive sunhat and parasol. Okumura Haru is as fancy and fashionable as ever. A noble flower standing strong in the soots of a world that looks seconds away from the end.

Unlike the lively and luminous air of Akihabara that Akira saw the last time he visited the place, the entire area is covered in a thick veil of smog. He coughs and covers his hand with his arm so that he doesn't breathe in too many of the fumes and he hurries towards Haru. From behind him, he can hear the soft swoosh of wings as Assassin manifests himself.

Haru looks like she's dressed for a masquerade ball. She's wearing a light lilac dress with frilly sleeves, and a white kerchief is tied loosely around her neck. It's nighttime, and even the pale of the moon is hidden behind a heavy screen of smoke from the various fires blazing around the city, but Haru looks like she's about to go have an afternoon brunch. He can't help but notice that she looks like she colour-coordinated her outfit to her Servant, as Archer stands obediently behind her dressed in a bright and ornate ballroom dress.

Next to her, dressed up in an old sweater, sweatpants with holes in the knees, and a lumpy un-ironed jacket, Akira feels like an absolute tool. He self-consciously rubs his hands on his pants and desperately hopes that Haru doesn't think Assassin is lame just by association.

"My, Akira-kun," Haru says, holding up a hand to her red lips. Of course she's even wearing gloves — white ones that reach up to her elbows — because she's dressed like she's about to embark on a high society cruise ship. "You certainly look...interesting."

"Thanks," Akira says, shoving his hands deep into his pockets in an attempt to look cool. "You know that we're here to fight, right?"

"Of course," Haru says. She hands the parasol off to Archer, who holds it obediently in the hand that isn't used to hold up her masquerade mask. Haru tips her hat with one hand, and places her other hand over her chest, curtsying low. "We are honour-bound to defeat this evil, as per the orders of the holy St. Mary's Cathedral. I have to look my best. I am here on the command of one of the important churches in the Japanese magic world, after all."

Considering St. Mary's Cathedral is being run by a guy who falsely accused Akira in the past and is actively draining away the magic and life from his own son, Akira isn't quite sure if any of St. Mary's Cathedral's missives carry any real religious weight.

But he nods.

"Oh, yes. Most definitely. I agree. That's why I also dressed up."

Haru nods agreeably, though Archer makes a sound that could be a titter. Hopefully, she's laughing at Akira's joke and not at Akira himself.

"So what's the situation like?" Akira asks. He pulls his gun out from a hidden back pocket on the inside of his jacket and checks the chambers, dumping out the enchanted ammo and squirreling them away. Considering how expensive bullets are and how annoying it is to consecrate them for anti-demon use, it would be best if he could get through this with magic alone.

Instead of Haru answering, Archer says, "We have located the mage. He is in the centre of the city, surrounding himself with demons that he must have summoned using Prelati's Spellbook. How he has managed to obtain such an artifact is unknown."

Akira frowns. "Prelati's Spellbook?" he repeats. "Wasn't it locked away under the ocean or something?"

"Yes."

"How does the organization know that it's the same one?"

Haru frowns. "Did Mona-chan not tell you? It was explained at the meeting."

Akira shakes his head. "Beyond the missive, Morgana didn't say much."

"I see. Well, the association isn't that sure either, but it's just the fact that the spellbook being used is made out of human skin. I suppose it's not much to go on, but Father Shido sounded quite sure about it."

Shido's sure of a lot of things, such as how his son is his property to leech magic from and manipulate, so Akira's tempted to go with his gut and say that Shido probably just jumped to conclusions. It's, unfortunately, a genetic vice that he shares with said son.

He nods anyway, as if he's perfectly fine with accepting Shido's baseless claim outright.

"The monsters you can call with Prelati's Spellbook require a significant amount of magic to summon, don't they?" hee asks, pitching his tone so it sounds like an innocuous question. "How is he managing to do so? If he's a mage with a circuit that powerful, then he wouldn't just be a 'random mage', right?"

"Yes. He —"

"He's summoned a demon that can turn people into human icicles. He's surrounded on all sides with these statues. He's leeching their life energy and turning it into magic for himself and the demon."

Akira and Haru turn as one as a familiar black-and-white figure leaps down from a desiccated building. Clutched in the deceptively strong arms is an equally familiar man with long brown hair and a long brown pea-coat.

"Akechi?" Akira gapes the same time that Haru frigidly says, "Akechi-kun, I see you've always decided to come."

Berserker's cold grin is as terrifying as always and Akira lowers his body closer the ground in preparation to run away. Arsene hovers a little bit closer and Akira feels his clawed hands grip his sides like a father about to raise a baby over his head.

But Akechi simply drops himself out of Berserker's arms. He stumbles inelegantly but Berserker is there like a white knight, clutching Akechi's hand with his monstrous claws, careful not to dig into Akechi's skin lest he draw blood. When Akechi waves him away, Berserker does so obediently. The Laevateinn is nowhere to be seen.

It's such a stark contrast to the night at Jazz Jin, when Akechi was practically falling over himself in order to get Berserker to follow simple vocal commands. Akira can't stop but stare at Berserker's face, right where his eyes have been replaced by twin horns.

Berserker shifts his head so that he's staring back at Akira, and the ever-present grin grows even wider, showing all of his rows of teeth.

Akira swallows and looks away. He waves off Assassin and hurries to Haru's side, standing in front of her in a protective stance as Akechi also reaches her.

This close, he can see recognize the faint smattering of cheap concealer under Akechi's eyes, and he still looks pale and tired, as if he hasn't gotten a good night's sleep or a full meal ever since their talk two nights ago.

"Akechi, what are you doing here?" Akira asks tersely.

Akechi smirks. "I'm a Master too, aren't I? And I think you're forgetting just who my father is. Who do you think first knew about the madman in Akihabara?"

That's not exactly what Akira meant. Akechi looks like he needs to eat a sandwich and then sleep for a week and a half. He certainly does not look to be in fighting condition at all and if Haru makes a move after they deal with the mage, then Akechi will be out of the fight.

He chances a look behind him. Icy fury blazes in Haru's eyes, clear as day even under her hat and parasol. She wouldn't hesitate to shoot a hole into Akechi's head herself, and there's not much that Akira can do to stop her.

But he sure can try.

He claps his hands as loud as he can. Neither Akechi nor Haru flinch.

"Well," he says, clearing his throat and making sure he projects as much cheer into his voice as possible. It's painfully wooden as a result, and he coughs. "Well," he repeats, "it sure looks like we have quite the crew here. Let's go on and deal with Romeo together after Ryuji and Yusuke arrive, shall we?"

"Ryuji-kun and Yusuke-kun won't be coming," Haru says, her tone cold.

He figured as much. "Oh, I thought you said you would invite them," Akira says anyway, trying to sound shocked and appalled.

"She probably thought to knock me out of the game, and wasn't sure if Sakamoto and Kitagawa would back her up or not," Akechi says, a cruel smile playing on his lips. Akira is painfully reminded of why he wants to push Akechi onto a bed, and also why he wants to punch Akechi in the face. "After all, you little pals are enemies in the War now, aren't you? So much for your precious friendship."

"Hey," Akira starts but Haru pushes past him, her hand reared back.

Akira hurriedly grabs her from behind, looping his arms around hers so that he could hold her as still as possible, but it's like trying to stop a river with his bare hands. She continues to march forward unimpeded, as if Akira weighs nothing more than a gram. Her muscles are like iron and Akira can't help but take a minute to squeeze her biceps out of genuine appreciation.

"How could you have done that to Ann-chan?" Haru demands. It's the same question she asked that night at the pier too. "She was heartbroken. Are you going to do that with Akira-kun too? With Sumire-chan?"

Akechi narrows his eyes. "Of course I am. In case it hasn't penetrated your thick goody-two-shoes skull but we're in the middle of a War. It's not as if I killed Takamaki or plan to kill your other little friends. You all knew exactly what you signed up for."

Haru is clenching her fists so tightly, shaking with rage, that Akira seriously considers knocking her out before she could make a concentrated attempt on Akechi's life.

"That's right," she says, her voice calm despite the angry tensing of her muscles. "I forgot. You only kill people from the shadows, like the cowardly dog that you —"

"Guys," Akira interrupts, as loudly as he can. He lets go of one of Haru's arms and gently shoves Akechi away. He makes sure to avoid the left side of his chest where he remembers seeing Shido's seal. Akechi steps back willingly and Akira frowns, rubbing his fingers together.

Akechi had been hot to the touch. Almost feverish. He's still suffering from the effects of the magical drought, even if he's managed to get Berserker under control again.

"Akechi, why don't you survey the area? In case anyone tries to come and see what's going on," Akira suggests. "Haru and I will go to wherever you saw the mage and we'll deal with him."

"Akira-kun, what —"

Akechi shakes his head. "The way is complicated. It'll take too long to explain and it's not as if I remembered the exact address for you to put it into your Google Maps. I'll just take you there."

"But —"

"But what?" Akechi snaps. There is a wearied anger in his eyes that makes him look years older than he actually is. "Tell us one good reason why I should do something that meaningless while the two of you aimlessly traipse around the city until he manages to petrify everybody or summon something beyond the scope of control."

Akira turns to look at Haru, who is also staring at him with wide-eyed confusion. He tries to stammer out an excuse — any excuse — but he can't find anything in the recesses of his mind that would convince her to let them split up. The only thing he could think of is consideration for her feelings, but he doubts that she would want the responsibility placed upon her.

"It's fine," he sighs. "Sorry."

"Akira-kun?" Haru asks, as if Akira's the one with the problem.

"Hmph," Akechi scoffs. "We're wasting time. Follow me."

He snaps his finger and Berserker picks him up like a bride once more. Considering the thick nest of braids atop of Berserker's head and Berserker's slim-almost-waifish frame, he supposes that bridal carry is the only way for the two of them to be carried around. Archer folds up Haru's parasol and reaches down with a hand for Haru to elegantly take. The Servant sweeps up her Master and holds her with one arm, pressing Haru against her body and allowing Haru to loop her arms around Archer's collar.

Haru shoots Akechi a smug look and Akechi rolls his eyes.

Akira turns to Assassin awkwardly. Assassin merely stares back. He holds out his clawed hands, places them carefully under Akira's armpits, and hitches him up so that Akira is forced to hug Assassin from the front, like a baby.

It's awfully embarrassing, and he feels his face heat up even more at the sounds of Haru and Akechi laughing from behind him.

"Assassin, did you have to carry me like this?" he groans, thumping his head down on Assassin's shoulder.

Assassin merely laughs and beats his wings, lifting himself up easily into the air. Akira holds his breath at the sensation of his stomach jumping inside of his body and he clutches onto Assassin tighter, curling his legs around Assassin's body like a koala in case his arms loosen from around his Servant's neck.

"Follow me," he hears Akechi say, followed by the loud crash of Berserker leaping into the air. He hears the odd metallic rustling of Archer's dress as she rushes to follow. He opens his mouth to order Assassin to follow them at the exact second Assassin launches himself into the sky, his wings beating powerfully to keep himself aloft. All Akira receives for his troubles is a mouthful of feathers.

He can't even see where they're going, trusting Assassin as he flits through the air, weaving effortlessly between burning skyscrapers. He shuts his eyes as wind and dust blow into them. If there's one thing he really doesn't want Akechi to see once they get to their destination, it's that Akira shed tears on the way there, even if they're from involuntary biological reactions.

Before he could even start to wonder just where they're heading, the journey is over. Assassin lands lightly onto the roof of a building and places Akira gently onto the ground. Next to him, Haru and Akechi are given the royal treatment as well, with Archer even taking the proffered parasol and opening it up, making sure that the nonexistent sunlight doesn't touch any inch of Haru's skin.

"Over there," Akechi says briskly, pointing downwards with one gloved finger.

Akira lies down on his belly and peers gingerly over the ledge. A man is standing in the middle of the empty alleyway, wearing a dark blue happi and sporting a white headband that trails in the wind. He's screaming incoherently, tears streaming down his sallow cheeks, and a winged woman with dark skin and even darker long hair is floating next to him, rubbing his back and saying something into his ear. True to Akechi's word, the two of them are surrounded with frozen statues of all ages and genders, their faces twisted in an eternal scream of fear and shock.

"Are they alive?" Akira whispers, trusting his voice to carry in the silence of the rooftop.

"They are," Akechi confirms.

"And how do you know that?" Haru asks.

"I just do," Akechi replies.

Okay, so the jury is out as to whether or not the victims are still alright. Akira's not the best when it comes to curse-breaking, but he took lessons from Hifumi over the summer and he's gotten better at it. He's not sure about how well it'll play with curses created by European demons, but he'll give it a try.

He turns back to the collective group. Assassin is watching Haru and Akechi with poorly-disguised mirth on his usually-unreadable face, while Berserker and Archer stand behind their Masters like flexing bodyguards. Haru is shooting Akechi a death glare, and Akechi is doing a great job at pretending to be looking at his nails, even though he still has his gloves on.

"Well, we should come up with a plan," Akira says. "We could force him to dry up his magical energy and then swoop in afterwards to kill him."

"Yes, but that would condemn the people he's frozen into statues," Akechi retorts.

"As if you care about the lives of innocent people," Haru mutters under her breath.

Akechi doesn't look at her. Considering his former job as an executor for the church, he probably has no qualms about simply letting the poor humans wither away in their icy prison. But he doesn't say anything. It's not exactly the kind of confession a normal person is willing to make in front of other people.

Instead of letting the silence expand into awkwardness, Akira pipes up, "Well, we could also let them go first. I can try breaking the curses and releasing them."

"And then what? Have civilians wander around the battlefield and get in our way?" Akechi scoffs. Not for the first time, Akira wishes that they taught some sort of interpersonal or teamwork lesson at the Clock Tower. Akechi desperately needs to improve in that field.

"There are a few empty stores just over that way," Haru points out, gesturing to the main street. Close enough to the alleyway that they could run there and back in under three minutes, but far enough that they would be safe from anything short of a bomb going off. "After Akira-kun frees them, he can take them there and then come back to help us."

Akira nods. "Good idea. Haru and Akechi, you two could distract him so he doesn't try to stop me, and once all of the bystanders are safely out of the way, we can probably take him down together."

Haru and Akechi exchange glances with their Servants, who simply look down at their Masters with impassive silence. As if on cue, they look at each other and then immediately look away. Akira mentally deflates. He had been hoping that Haru, at the very least, had put a lid on her animosity for a hot minute, what with her plan and all. It seems that bridging the gap between the two, even temporarily, would require more than a strategy meeting.

Shockingly enough, Akechi is the one who relents first. He rubs the back of his head with a gloved hand and sighs, looking extremely put-out.

"Fine. That's the best we can do at this time," he says. He looks at Haru with cold derision in his copper-brown eyes. "Does that plan work for you, Okumura?"

A muscle twitches in Haru's jaw.

"Yes, it's fine," she says.

It's like the temperature around them dropped several degrees but at least they have a game plan. At least they're going to _work together_ like the _adults_ that they are. Akira nods to himself and claps his hands. He feels like he inadvertently signed up to chaperone a kindergarten field trip.

"Alright, then. I'm going to go and —"

"Just don't slow me down, Okumura."

Akira closes his eyes and tilts his head up to the godless heavens.

"I could say the same to you," Haru says.

She sounds perfectly pleasant on the surface but there is no mistaking the metallic _schlink_ of Archer loading up one of the barrels under her voluminous dress. The Laevateinn materializes in a burst of fiery light and Akira hurriedly grabs onto Akechi's wrist. Assassin flares his wings wide, his back to the direction of the mage.

"Are you insane?" he hisses. Akechi tries to pull himself out of Akira's grip but he holds fast. "Are you stupid? Do you know how bright your Servant's stupid Noble Phantasm is?"

"He's —" Akechi starts and Akira shakes him urgently.

"Make him put it away."

Akechi hesitates for a brief second, and it takes Akira's brain a moment to catch up. He has absolutely no idea how much control Akechi commands over Berserker at the moment, especially after what he saw at Jazz Jin. If Haru sees that Akechi's grip on Berserker's reins have loosened enough that Berserker will balk at a direct command from his Master, then she'll have no fear of any retaliation should she pick a fight with them when they're done.

"Berserker," Akechi says, his voice tight. "Calm down."

For a tense moment, Akira fears the worst. Berserker stares down at Akechi and Akira, grinning cruelly. He releases the Laevanteinn's hilt and the flaming sword clatters soundlessly onto the ground, melting away in a burst of fire and magic. There's something mocking about his action that Akira really doesn't like, and he sincerely hopes Berserker's attitude has more to do with him than with Akechi.

"Alright, now that that's settled, we should probably get started," Akira says, doing his best to sound like nothing out of the ordinary happened.

For all intents and purposes, it was perfectly normal. A Master exerting their control over an over-enthusiastic Servant. Nothing wrong here.

"Wait!"

 _What now_ , Akira doesn't say but he's sure that his face is saying it, because Haru gives him a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry, but I was just wondering if we can use codenames for this mission?"

"Codenames?" Akechi echoes, clear mockery in his tone. "What are we, Feathermen?"

Haru ignores him. "It'll be fun, right? Like how we hide our Servants' identities with their class names. It's not every day that we work together for a mission in the middle of a Holy Grail War. It's rather exciting, isn't it?"

"People are dying, Okumura."

"Not 'Okumura.' Call me Noir," Haru says, tilting her hat with one hand and splaying her other arm out in the most dramatic fashion. She crouches low — a mix between a curtsy and a bow — and Archer claps her hands politely like she just saw Haru hit a spare at the bowling alley. "I am here to enact justice, on behalf of St. Mary's Cathedral. I need not official recognition, nor rewards of any kind. The only trophy I desire is the sight of evil being put away."

Akira offers his own applause and Archer gives him an approving look.

"Noir, that's beautiful."

Haru smiles. "Thank you. I thought of a codename for you as well, Akira. You're Joker."

Akechi snorts. The joy on Haru's face diminishes slightly, but she does a masterful job in ignoring the negativity coming off of Akechi in spades.

"Because he's a joke?" he asks.

"Your magic is wondrously versatile, like the joker in a deck of cards," Haru continues, even though she refuses to look directly at Akechi or otherwise acknowledge his presence. "The two of us will doubtlessly have no issue in taking down that pathetic mage."

 _And then do you plan for the two of us to work together and take down Akechi?_ Akira wants to ask, but he manages to hold his tongue. Akechi still stands between them, tapping his foot impatiently, and it would probably be awkward for him to hear Haru and Akira openly discussing their plans to murder his Servant and permanently retire him from the Grail War.

Oh, who is Akira kidding. Akechi probably doesn't give a damn since he's most definitely of the opinion that he can take care of both Akira and Haru without any incident.

He already knows the answer to his unspoken question anyway. The way that Haru is looking at him with those big beseeching doe eyes...the way that Haru is already trying to force a wedge between him and Akechi with just the codename alone...He would be more surprised if Haru simply dusted her hands off and went home after they destroyed the mage and his artifact.

"Akechi needs a codename too," Akira points out, just to kick Haru's automatic assumption that he'll be on her side against Akechi.

Haru frowns. "Does he really? I don't think we'll need to talk to him much during the battle."

"Technically speaking, we shouldn't be talking at all during battle," Akechi snaps. "Fighting's not a game. Besides, Akira won't even be around for most of it since he's in charge of taking the civilians to safety."

"I'll come back in time to help you two out," Akira protests.

"His name is Joker, by the way," Haru says.

Akechi rolls his eyes.

Akira coughs to hide his laughter and says, "You're right. Thanks for reminding him of my current identity."

He's quite proud of how he managed to say that sentence in a clear and unwavering voice. His lips can't even stop quivering.

"Call me whatever you want," Akechi sighs. "This is ridiculous."

If Ryuji was here, he would probably suggest something like 'Bastard' or 'Dickface.' Something immature and insulting that Akechi would kill him for. Thankfully, no matter how much Haru despises the guy, she is still the bigger person. She places a hand on her chin and hums.

"How about 'Crow'?" she suggests. "You had a crow familiar when we were at the Clock Tower, if I recall, and your magic does have a black feather motif sometimes."

"Ahh," Akira says in agreement. Now that Haru mentions it, the light that emanates from Akechi's spells do seem to take on a rather distinctive feather-like shape. He's surprised that he never noticed. It's not as if he tends to focus on the actual _spells_ that Akechi casts, considering the fierce concentration on Akechi's face whenever he uses magic is far more interesting to stare at.

Akechi rolls his eyes and looks away. "Sure," he says. But Akira doesn't miss the red flush on the tips of his ears. From Haru's light giggle, it seems that she didn't either.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote 90% of it back the day and it's so much writing that I felt it was a waste to just let rot in my Notion so I added a few scenes to connect everything and posted it.


End file.
